THE SHOW MUST GO ON... TO EDINBURGH

School's out for summer, but the show must go on... to Edinburgh. That's right Crestviewers, this summer the movie, Bad Kids of Crestview Academy, which is based on actual events that took place on our lovely campus last year will be having its International Premiere at the Edinburgh International Film Festival Friday, June 23, 2017, and again for an encore performance Saturday night the 24th. One of the things that attributed to the unparalleled success of the movie is the fact that all parts of the "Bad Kids" were played by actors from Crestview’s overwhelmingly talented student body. Sophomore, Jimmy Dalfilmo Faustenberg, self-proclaimed movie critic and frequent film festival attendee, calls the movie a "tour de force... a brave modern grindhouse gem that literally captures everything that happened that dreadful detention day in real time in every gory detail." And, unlike many others, he literally knows the meaning of "literally." And, it now seems Headmaster Nash will be leading an “unofficial” school trip to walk the red carpet and attend the premiere with some of the students who have survived these last couple of years, many of whom were already planning on visiting the distilleries and brushing up on their golf in Scotland this summer anyway. Junior Lexi Ridley, Thespian Society Treasurer, doesn't seem to mind postponing her summer plans in Monaco a couple of weeks in order to go to Scotland to celebrate the movie with her schoolmates. Ridley auditioned for the part of Faith in the movie, but obviously lost it to Faith. "Sure, the bitch died and doesn't get to go to Scotland this summer... or I guess the next summer either. But, I literally should've been the one to die that really cool death." Somehow, I don't think she meant that. Opining further, Ridley questioned, "I mean, whatever happened to method acting?"

--- "I literally should've been the one to die that really cool death."

--- Lexi Ridley, Junior, Thespian Society Treasurer

LITERALLY A THIRD TIME? OH NO THEY DIDN'T...

Following the actual release of the movie in the States, a twitter battle erupted between the theater members and the rest of the student body about which students should get killed in the next movie. Apparently some professors have also weighed in, as they should. But Freshman, Bruno Huppersada Williamson, III probably brought to light the most important subtext of the Crestview movies when he declared to another freshman, Genevieve Drysdale, that "the school has now literally become a fucking battleground for an undercrust uprising since they always survive in the movies, reinforcing false hope." Everyone knows that the arts have always been catalysts for change, but the Administration at Crestview sincerely hopes that the students will cease their silly internet war and duke it out in the parking lot when they return from summer hiatus... you know like the distinguished ladies and gentlemen we expect them to be.